2016 — The year where two wrongs make a right

Let’s stop for a moment

If you turn left by 90 degrees twice you do a 180 and end up going backwards. Similarly, if someone does a ‘wrong’ thing and you do something ‘wrong’ back this doesn’t solve the problem and only makes thing worse. As we have always believed.

But as we progress into 2016 the world is turning upside down, we need to eat more fat to get skinny, peace is breeding terror, thank-you means fuck off and bad/sick/nasty all mean good (and that’s been going on since last year). It’s time to step back and say what the fuck.

Brexit

Even as Britain is settling into the fact that we will have to deal with Brexit many of us are still in a state of shock. This happened because of the number of lies told and the fear mongering committed by the ‘Leave’ campaign. To be fair, the stay campaign didn’t always tell straight facts. But victory went to the side that played dirtiest.

Sadly we all have to deal with the consequences and make the most of a bad situation. Sure Britain won’t sink into an eternity of recession, the NHS will still be okay and London will still be a financial centre of the world. But we just won’t be quite as awesome as we were and promises made to us won’t be delivered.

The worst thing, however, is that the main lessons our kids will receive are that lying through your teeth means you’re a winner.

Presidents

Donald Trump has been the most talked about presidential candidate in history, mainly because he sprouts so much BS. Yet his philosophy of any publicity is good publicity has been astoundingly successful, and his following leaves the rest of us dumbfounded. Hilary Clinton was completely in the shade and a bit of a non-candidate seen as weak and unsure against the sheer force of Trump’s campaign due the amount of publicity he has.

The Hilary campaign has stopped focussing on the good facts: she’s a woman, she’s going to do something about the climate and keep shit in order. Instead, they have started playing dirty and focusing on highlighting that she isn’t Donald Trump and that he is an idiot. And it’s finally getting some traction which is about time.

Despite the overwhelming evidence against my next statements, judging by the current state of things and the way the logic of the world seems to be working so far, I can safely predict that:

  • Russia will win the Olympics despite mostly being banned
  • The leaders of the world will solve climate change by flying around to see each other and talk about what they haven’t done/still aren’t doing
  • Making more guns really will reduce violence
  • My neighbour will have sex with me

Sadly I can’t predict if by 2017 we will all turn into arseholes in the process. But I hope we’ll learn some important lessons even if it is just to hustle a like a boss.

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